Recently an acquaintance of mine told me that “I needed to learn to trust myself”! Trust myself?? The question in my mind was; what does he mean, trust myself?
Throughout my life when there were challenges, I felt that I handled them well and that I can be a fighter. Face whatever comes my way and while growing up there were many challenges typical of most people. So why did my friend tell me that I needed to trust myself?
I began to look, of course, on Google, for some psychological writings about trusting one’s self and self-esteem This is what I have learned:
“Everyone in your life has the potential of betraying you,” Cynthia Wall, LCSW
They may leave you. They may pass away. They may make rude comments. They may cheat. They may lie and disappoint you in many different ways. In society we cannot count of anyone 100% of the time, but this doesn’t mean that we should isolate ourselves or harden our hearts.
Try to be aware of your thoughts and feelings and express them. Follow your personal standards and ethical code. Know when you care for yourself first! Know that you can survive mistakes and get up and try again!
Try to avoid the ‘dream-smashers and naysayers’! Keep promises you’ve made to yourself such as going for a walk or going to a concert, etc. Follow through on these promises that you’ve made.
We all have these defeating voices in our head and when we make a mistake we call ourselves demeaning names bashing ourselves. Sometimes these names were thrown at us from our parents or former teachers. Being understanding toward yourself when you make a mistake can help you be understanding with others when they do the same.
Trusting yourself does not mean that you are looking to be perfect. We won’t always make the right decision or say the right thing.
Trusting and valuing yourself just means that in spite of slip-ups we can forgive ourselves and realize that we can learn something and try again. We ‘can’ be confident and most of all we ‘can be kind to ourselves’.